Benjamin Liu

Benjamin Liu is recorded less through biography than through the repeated, practical presence he brings to the diarist’s days: morning pickups, invitations, errands, and nights out. The diary’s strongest account of their bond comes at the end of that routine, when Benjamin’s costume-jewelry business succeeds and he announces that he will no longer come by in the mornings. The diarist calls him special and describes the change as the end of an era, making his value apparent in the ordinary habits his departure disrupts.

A Place in the Daily Routine

Benjamin’s role is clearest in the diary’s recurring logistics. On the diarist’s birthday, he arrives early to pick him up; the morning is pleasant, and the birthday plan is to eat sugar without restraint. Elsewhere, Benjamin’s arrival is part of getting to evening engagements: the diarist changes into a tuxedo before inviting him to a party for Michael Jackson, then goes to Halston’s to take a limousine. The entries establish a pattern of shared movement through the city, while stopping short of defining Benjamin as a formal employee or assigning him duties beyond those the diary records.

That routine is also visible in the diary’s account of a very early departure. The diarist has slept only from two until five in the morning and finds it difficult to rise without the usual hour of conversation with the Diary. Christopher is due to collect him at seven, and the driver Christopher has arranged is described as nice. The passage does not say Benjamin was responsible for this particular pickup; its relevance is the contrast it supplies with the morning habit Benjamin later ends. The diary treats such arrangements as small daily structures, but notices how their absence changes the shape of a morning.

Social Companionship and Public Occasions

Benjamin accompanies the diarist into a social world of parties and improvised plans. At a party hosted by Bob Guccione for Pia Zadora, Benjamin is sent home early to dress up so that he can join the diarist and carry portraits. During a conversation there, Guccione suggests that the moment is right for celebrity pornography; the diarist responds by unexpectedly proposing Cornelia Guest. The episode places Benjamin alongside the diarist at an event where celebrity, art, and provocative business talk intersect, while the concrete task assigned to him is carrying the portraits.

The diary also records the diarist’s attention to Benjamin’s presentation. When Benjamin arrives early for a pickup, he is not in drag. The diarist wishes he were, and notes a contrast between Benjamin’s slight, girlish appearance in ordinary clothes and the more masculine impression the diarist sees when he is in drag, particularly his large shoulders and hands. This is the diarist’s observation, not an account of Benjamin’s own explanation or identity; the entry gives no further context. Its place in the record is characteristic: a practical moment of being picked up becomes an occasion for registering how differently the diarist reads Benjamin in different forms of dress.

Another outing begins with Benjamin and his roommate Rags hearing about Julian Lennon’s birthday party at the Be-Bop Cafe. They decide to go without an invitation, obtaining a limousine and pretending they believe the cafe is open to the public. Someone attempts to introduce the diarist to Julian Lennon, who shows little response, and the group leaves. On the street, a young man asks whether they are going to Area; they take him along. At the club, the diarist spends several hours standing by the walls. The entry presents Benjamin as part of the company moving through an uncertain, quickly changing night, rather than as the center of the episode.

Errands, Judgment, and Money

Benjamin’s helpfulness does not make him infallible in the diary’s telling. In a costly sculpture errand, the diarist gives him $2,000 to buy a large Last Supper sculpture that had been negotiated down from $5,000, but that piece is no longer available when Benjamin arrives. At another store, the diarist had bargained the medium sculpture down from $2,500 to $1,000. Benjamin forgets the reduced price and pays $2,000 for it. The diarist calculates the mistake as a thousand dollars lost, especially frustrating after the effort spent bargaining.

The account is not simply a record of failure: the medium sculpture is, in fact, the size the diarist wanted. That good fortune does not undo the overpayment, and the diarist concludes that Benjamin lacks a head for figures. The detail gives their practical relationship some friction: the diarist entrusts Benjamin with a substantial purchase, but also distinguishes trust in the person from confidence in his arithmetic. Benjamin’s later departure is not attributed to this incident, and the diary does not present it as a cause of any change between them.

Departure and the End of a Habit

The clearest turning point comes when Benjamin brings the diarist news that his costume-jewelry business is thriving and that he intends to pursue it full-time. As a result, he will no longer come by for the morning pickups. The consequence is immediate and specific: the diarist expects to go straight to work and thinks that this may allow more work to get done. There are other people who might be tried in Benjamin’s place, but the diarist distinguishes those possibilities from Benjamin himself, calling him special.

The closing reflection gives the relationship its measure without claiming more than the entries establish. Benjamin’s importance lies partly in repetition: he is there for pickups, accompanies the diarist to parties, and is trusted with a purchase. When the business that has been growing alongside these routines becomes his full-time commitment, the morning arrangement ends. The diarist recognizes a practical benefit in the change, but registers the loss in personal terms: an era has ended, and a merely replaceable pickup has not replaced the particular presence Benjamin brought to it.